Flight-Fight-or-?

In the face of danger all vertebrates (many, but not all invertebrates as well) respond with a heightened state of physiological arousal that prepares them for either fight of flight--or more correctly in order of preference, flight or fight. Many people point to a third response, "freeze". Freezing, however is a variation of flight, many animals become virtually invisible to their primary predators when they remain motionless. So freezing is not itself the third path.

The third path I am referring to is another stress response that anthropologist have recognized in primates. Primates when confronting danger will sometimes follow a third path, that of increasing pro-social behaviors. In other words, primates, humans included, will respond to stress by increasing social bonding. This has been called the "friend", "connect" or "cuddle" response by various anthropologists.


Not surprisingly, there are gender differences. Females more than males exhibit this response, although male chimps and apes display increased social behavior when confronting danger as well.

The implications of this third path when dealing with stress are profound. It is clearly a more highly evolved characteristic (strictly speaking, the notion of any trait being "more highly evolved" is an anthropocentric value judgment--but I am an anthropoid after all). The fight or flight response we share with most animals. The connect response we share only with primates.  There is, I believe a purely human response, as well.

When other primates display the connect response they do so only within family groups. Humans have the capability to connect outside family groups. Just as humans are the only animal that trades with others of its species outside its own family clan, we are able to extend pro-social behaviors to other humans, to strangers.

The third path is this path of connection with others. It's not fight-flight-or-freeze, but flight-fight-or-friend. De-escalation/conflict resolution/assertiveness is the third path.