De-escalation and Social Influence- Consistency

Cialdini:  "Consistency is a principle that asserts that people want to be and to be seen as consistent with their existing commitments. Those commitments can be things they've either said or done in the past, especially in public, that give them a position or a stand on some issue."

No one wants to be known as a liar or as wishy-washy or erratic. People much prefer to be considered honest and trustworthy. When they make public commitments or promises, they will tend to want to back up those words with action. 

When de-escalating an angry person consistency can be a powerful tool. When confronting an angry person you need to find ways to shift from an adversarial to a collaborative frame. It's no small challenge. But it's one that can be tackled, by asking for small concessions of favors. 

Examples of use:

An angry individual is yelling at you. Your response: "I can tell how angry this is making you, and I will do what I can to resolve it, and for that I would really appreciate you bringing down your voice..." When person lowers voice, whether it's immediate or after more venting,  express appreciation, "Thank you for being willing to work with me on this."

Patients involvement in treatment planning promotes collaboration and compliance, as their acceptance of a treatment plan is a prior commitment .

Example of misuse: "I know you don't want to, but you said..."  (Holding people accountable for their words is appropriate. To do so when one is angry is wrong timing.)

As with all verbal tools they need to be applied skillfully and at the right time.