A simple definition of de-escalation: De-escalation is a set of interaction and communication skills used to decrease agitation or aggression and prevent a person from acting violently. It is a subset of a larger set of skills, that can be referred to as social or emotional intelligence.
I use the term "the third path" to describe de-escalation because in addition to fight or flight, there is a third natural response to threat, the "tend and befriend" or "care and connect" response. (Some people include "freeze" as a response, but it be more properly understood as a form a form of flight). It the face of threat a third choice is to tend to the needs of and affiliate with others. This is the intent of verbal de-escalation. to connect with the aggressive person, and to relieve his or her distress (anger) in a peaceful manner.
As a set of skills it can be learned, but with the intent to address the need of the person in distress, not amount of learning techniques will enable a person to successful face the challenge of de-escalating the anger of a person in crisis.
I use the term "the third path" to describe de-escalation because in addition to fight or flight, there is a third natural response to threat, the "tend and befriend" or "care and connect" response. (Some people include "freeze" as a response, but it be more properly understood as a form a form of flight). It the face of threat a third choice is to tend to the needs of and affiliate with others. This is the intent of verbal de-escalation. to connect with the aggressive person, and to relieve his or her distress (anger) in a peaceful manner.
As a set of skills it can be learned, but with the intent to address the need of the person in distress, not amount of learning techniques will enable a person to successful face the challenge of de-escalating the anger of a person in crisis.
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