Understanding Violent Behavior

This blog uses the terms “violence” and “coercion” to describe behavior that is non-nurturing or doesn’t maintain the dignity and safety of those involved. This is in contrast to behavior (especially communication) that is non-violent or therapeutic.

People behave in ways that get what they want or need, or to get away from something, someone or some place they do not want.  People do not engage in problem behaviors because they have mental illness, conduct disorders, developmental disabilities or other cognitive disabilities.  They engage in behaviors that have worked for them. 

People do not "have" behaviors; rather, they use behavior for specific reasons.  

One goal of the professional is to create environments and relationships that support therapeutic alternatives to problem behaviors.

A professional will conduct a range of assessments to determine the message of a person’s behavior.  The professional then will support the person to find new ways to achieve his/her goals in ways that are more appropriate, or that in the least do not cause harm or injury to themselves and/or others. 

Situational Awareness, a definition

Simply put, situational awareness is knowing what is happening and what is likely to happen next. While this sounds simple, it does not merely mean good observation skill. It requires one to have a knowledge base that includes, the nature of aggression, and  environmental, individual, staff, and situational factors that contribute to or reduce agitation and aggression.  

At the lowest levels, this skill requires that all responding to a person in behavioral crisis, know how to identify escalating agitaion and call for a support when needed. 

When interacting with a hostile person it means keeping actively aware of the effects of your efforts to deescalate. Is your approach effective? Is it decreasing the anger?

If responding to a call for support, minimally those responding need to know how to identify the lead person  and environmental hazards, and be ready to take direction from the lead person.

The 6 skills sets of de-escalation

De-escalation is a set of interaction and communication skills used to decrease agitation or aggression and prevent a person from acting violently.

There are numerous de-escalation skills and numerous ways to classify them. I classify them into these key 6 skills sets:

• Situational awareness
• Managing space
• Non-verbal communication
• Empathic communication
• Communication for influence
• Self-management

These are important skill setss for any one interacting with the public. When responding to a person in  behavioral crisis they are critical for the safety of all involved.These are the classification used in subsequent posts.

De-escalation and the Care and Connect Response

A simple definition of de-escalation:  De-escalation is a set of interaction and communication skills used to decrease agitation or aggression and prevent a person from acting violently. It is a subset of a larger set of skills, that can be referred to as social or emotional intelligence.


I use the term "the third path" to describe de-escalation because in addition to fight or flight, there is a third natural response to threat, the "tend and befriend" or "care and connect" response. (Some people include "freeze" as a response, but it be more properly understood as a form a form of flight). It the face of threat a third choice is to tend to the needs of and affiliate with others. This is the intent of verbal de-escalation. to connect with the aggressive person, and to relieve his or her distress (anger) in a peaceful manner.


As a set of skills it can be learned, but with the intent to address the need of the person in distress, not amount of learning techniques will enable a person to successful face the challenge of de-escalating the anger of a person in crisis.