When people receive something from others, they are naturally inclined to repay the act. This is true in all cultures. This is true even of unsolicited gifts. Giving something increases compliance with future requests. Example: In one research study, a $5 check included with a survey produced more responses than the promise of $50 after responding.
Reciprocal Concessions: Rejection-Then-Retreat
The rule of reciprocity also applies to non-material gifts. So that if you make a large request, are refused, and then make a smaller request as a concession, you are three times more likely to get compliance than if you asked for what you wanted straight away.
Reciprocity can be initiated in a number of ways. The interaction with the agitated person can be framed as "giving time or attention." When de-escalating an aggressive situation concessions can be offered to the angry person in the form of time, or options.
Example:
A staff person approaches an angry client.
"Mr Jones I can see that this is really an upsetting situation... Let me give you this (hands client his card) it has my number on it... hang on to it because, I'm going to do all I can to correct his situation...and I don't what I can do, but I will do all I can, and if you have to follow up with me you'll have my number."
The staff person establishes control over the situation and frames his role as an ally. He gives the angry person his card within an acceptable context. In a brief introduction he establishes reciprocity.
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