De-escalating conflict relies on the ability of an individual to define the frame of an interaction. The principle of scarcity states that people value more highly that which is scarce, and that generally speaking people are more motivated to avoid a lost than to achieve a gain. There are a number of ways to frame an interaction to make use of this principle.
Once communication with an agitated person is established, that connection with some one has value to the agitated person. One reason to state clearly early in the interaction your intention of helping the person, is to create and enhance this value.Establish early on that you are there to help the situation. If the person escalates in verbal aggression, let him know that continued escalation can result in ending your alliance with him.
"I am here to help you with this situation, and I need to let you know that if you continue to yell I won't be able to help you."
In a long term treatment facility, one strategy is to reminded the agitated person of the progress made (consistency principle), and continued escalation of aggression will result in loss of progress and effort made. Be careful with mentioning loss of privileges, as this will emphasize unequal power status and can escalate conflict. The emphasis is not on rewards granted, rather on goals achieved.
Along the same lines, avoid mentions of rewards for cooperation in terms of benefits granted him. Again frame it in terms of benefits achieved through his efforts.
For example, not: "If you cooperate we'll let you have extra time for visiting," rather, "You've worked hard for that extra visiting time, and you're so close."
Sometimes, letting the agitated person know that the time to act cooperative is limiting is beneficial. This is not done in terms of an ultimatum, rather in terms of options closing.
"Right now we have a number of options for dealing with this situation if we work together, we're not going to have as many options if we delay."
People are motivated to act by scarcity. Scarcity is a useful frame for de-escalating conflict, because it can be used to help the agitated person realize that communication and cooperation is the best option.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
De-escalation and Social Influence: Authority
Through genetics and social conditioning people have a tendency to comply with authority. Children are trained to listen to teachers at school, respect men in uniform, and obey their parents. Where ever animals form social groups hierarchies arise.
"As humans, people want to defer to a legitimate authority," says Cialdini, Arizona State University professor of Psychology who identified the six universal social influencers, "I don't know about you, but when I'm sitting in a doctor's waiting room, I'm looking at the diplomas and certifications on the wall. We need that shortcut to feel trust. It does make a difference."
"The lesson of authority for the influence process is that any communicator who wishes to move people in his or her direction would be well-advised, before actually trying to influence those people, to first reveal or uncover the credentials that he or she has," explains Cialdini.
People prefer to work with experts. An angry or agitated person in losing control; he wants to know that someone is in control. The bottom line is, they're more likely to listen to people they believe to be experts, that is someone in control, than other people -- even when those experts are asking them to do something they otherwise wouldn't otherwise do.
Application: In order to make use of this tendency use the symbols of authority that already exist. Many of these clues are nonverbal such as how one dresses, how one talks, and how one carries ones self. When approaching a person in behavior crisis state your name and your title, and what your purpose is (eg. "to help deal with this situation"). If you dress smartly, and talk like you are in charge your authority will be assumed. Speaking confidently to a person in behavior crisis gives reassurance that someone is in control.
There two down sides to the power of authority. One is that for many people authority will trigger reactance, a natural reaction to having one's options limited. Being told to that one must do something or can not do something by someone in authority (or policy) strips a person of control. This creates a reaction that seeks to gain back control, which can create a stubborn fight-back against authority. Individual will have this response if they consider the use of authority to be unfair or uninterested in their needs. You must convey your intention to address the concerns of the agitated person.
A second downside of the power of authority is how far will people go in obedience to authority. How far they will go was revealed by the famous Milgram experiment performed in the 1960s. One of the best presentations of the experiment is TV Mentalist Derren Brown’s genuine recreation of them, that can be viewed here. If you are unfamiliar with the experiment I will leave it for you to watch the video.
"As humans, people want to defer to a legitimate authority," says Cialdini, Arizona State University professor of Psychology who identified the six universal social influencers, "I don't know about you, but when I'm sitting in a doctor's waiting room, I'm looking at the diplomas and certifications on the wall. We need that shortcut to feel trust. It does make a difference."
"The lesson of authority for the influence process is that any communicator who wishes to move people in his or her direction would be well-advised, before actually trying to influence those people, to first reveal or uncover the credentials that he or she has," explains Cialdini.
People prefer to work with experts. An angry or agitated person in losing control; he wants to know that someone is in control. The bottom line is, they're more likely to listen to people they believe to be experts, that is someone in control, than other people -- even when those experts are asking them to do something they otherwise wouldn't otherwise do.
Application: In order to make use of this tendency use the symbols of authority that already exist. Many of these clues are nonverbal such as how one dresses, how one talks, and how one carries ones self. When approaching a person in behavior crisis state your name and your title, and what your purpose is (eg. "to help deal with this situation"). If you dress smartly, and talk like you are in charge your authority will be assumed. Speaking confidently to a person in behavior crisis gives reassurance that someone is in control.
There two down sides to the power of authority. One is that for many people authority will trigger reactance, a natural reaction to having one's options limited. Being told to that one must do something or can not do something by someone in authority (or policy) strips a person of control. This creates a reaction that seeks to gain back control, which can create a stubborn fight-back against authority. Individual will have this response if they consider the use of authority to be unfair or uninterested in their needs. You must convey your intention to address the concerns of the agitated person.
A second downside of the power of authority is how far will people go in obedience to authority. How far they will go was revealed by the famous Milgram experiment performed in the 1960s. One of the best presentations of the experiment is TV Mentalist Derren Brown’s genuine recreation of them, that can be viewed here. If you are unfamiliar with the experiment I will leave it for you to watch the video.
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